dear universe

Dear Universe,

Throughout my life I have grown to trust you.
My eyes were open; I was connected.
The lessons and the mysteries were adored, appreciated and loved.

You taught me that I do deserve love.
You taught me that I can accept happiness in my life.
You taught me that I can be open and trusting and that it is okay to jump in with two feet.
You showed me that being content in my misery was not acceptable and that I can be content in breaking down my walls and being vulnerable to someone.

Yes, I trusted you. You gave me exactly what I was looking for. You gave me the person I asked you for. A person I can love, trust and be happy with.

But you took that away from me in a blink of an eye. For what purpose? To show me that I was wrong in breaking down my walls and accepting happiness?

I now feel that I cannot be happy in love, but happy in misery. I have come full circle and am now back where I started from.


To this I say.........Fuck you!



Love,
Tosh

How do you make love stay?

When the mystery of the connection goes, love goes.

It's that simple.

This suggests that it isn't love that is so important to us but the mystery itself.

The love connection may be merely a device to put us in contact with the mystery, and we long for love to last so that the ecstasy of being near the mystery will last.

It is contrary to the nature of mystery to stand still.

Yet it's always there, somewhere, a world on the other side of the mirror, a promise in the next pair of eyes that smile at us.

We glimpse it when we stand still.

Tom Robbins

And Im Glad....

crying out loud
yet what is perceived is placid [(tacid(t)]

you know what i mean
but lets pretend....

there was 'always' "nothing"
{nothing=something}
-no exception-

..sigh...need i say more...

fog d@esnt mean forgotten

see... i tried... to connect... but you...*yes you* defused...

and now... you can't blame...... no more...

..again..

you can try

but i will

always

mystify...

^and i'm glad you pretend... ^

due to the lack of love....

Due to the loss of love within Mr. Spanky's fiberfilled heart....

He has decided to knit himself a partner!

Spanky has been a bad bad little monkey.......

Meet Spanky!

Isn't he a cutie!

Mr.Spanky decides to relax on Friday night with a delicious glass of wine. Yumm....

After a few glasses of wine, Spanky starts to feel a little frisky and meets up with his good friend Elmo.

Yeehaw!!!!!

Satisfaction.

Uh-oh....don't feel so good....

Night night.........zzzzzzzz

Mind Twister Anyone....

Ma said

"This is the aspect of one-pointed ness: the One that is many in One, in many, that same One; it is that one-pointed ness in which it is complete. Where the kriya is perfect, there the self reveals as perfect. There only Infinity is in One, the One is in Infinity - the One only… is in two also, and those two are, indeed, in One too. That the Self alone exists in the form of a complete Indivisible Whole -this truth has to reveal all points; it pertains to that one-pointed ness (of Thakurma)."

-Anandamayi Ma

Random Question #2

O.k. there is no denying that 'something' is in the air. One cannot help but notice all the magnificence that is occurring all around us. As we know we live in a highly intelligent universe that works with and for us in creating whatever it is that we focus on and provides exactly what we need. (albeit even if we swear we didn't want it!) Each moment is beautifully timed and on purpose even though we often choose to see certain events, encounters and feelings as totally random.

Lately, after certain events have played out (and are continually doing so) I am left to wonder, not so much about the others who have played a role (although fleeing thoughts do enter) but about my true essence, purpose and calling in this earth life I have signed up for. Knowing that we come into this experience with certain lessons that we would like to over come and learn, thus enabling us to attract to ourselves the 'tests' that are required, my question is this......

Are you aware of what lessons you are working on in this life? or if you would prefer, at this time of your life? Also, if you feel that you have conquered or passed or even failed other 'tests' and lessons up until now (which I know we all have) feel free to comment on those as well.

I don't think it's all that easy of a question to answer either. One could say "_____ is what I am learning now". but if you are aware, wouldn't it be near impossible to flunk? When you look at it like that, then wouldn't it just simply come down to the question of whether one wants to truly grow and develop here and now as the spiritual beings that we by truth are?

Good luck answering. Although at times I think I know, in fact at times I'm pretty damn sure I know, I still get stuck inside myself, tripped up and begin to question everything all over again.......hmmmm, lesson ya think!?