double whammy

Dear universe and astologyzone.com,

You assimes have misguided me once again. I told you universe to CUT THE CRAP...yet you insist on teasing me with hope to then snatch it away like a horny lesbian. I HATE shady personalities who cannot make normal fuckin plans and fly by the seat of their pants, but yet whispher sweet words of always wanting to be with you....what a load of fuckin horseshit times a million. "oh, i will be right back..." MY ASS!!!!!!! Then have the guts to text about all the wonderful things that you plan to do for me tomorrow while i am at work......suckmyballs.
And you are a dishonest piece of horoscope shit ms.astrologyzone....misleading us poor humans into thinking that the planets rule our lives....! If that were the case, then today/night would be one of my best romantic times of the month!!!!! Ha ha..so, if that is the case, I would like to die and then be resurrected in the month of June....if this is my best day....killmenow and save my suffering of the rest of this asssucking month.

Love,
tosh